The Best Mom in the World

 

I consider myself blessed to be able to call Loretta Nolen Smith Mom. In my mind, she is the best mother in the world. This may be one of those "I may be prejudiced, but I don't think so" moments, but I really, really don't think so. I marvel at the many roles she has played in life.

First, she was a dream. I can imagine Grandma Rachel marveling at the little person twisting, turning and kicking inside of her and dreaming of holding her in her arms. I imagine Grandpa Boyd resting his hand on Rachel’s tummy and feeling that same awe and wanting to hold her too. When she was born, she was a daughter, a granddaughter, a niece, a cousin, …. Her mom and dad would get to marvel at the perfect little person they had come together to make.

 

It would not be long before she became a big sister to eight other siblings. Two of those she would see buried as only babes. Even though so young, I imagine that she was a comfort at that time to her family. She would be a help to her parents and as she grew older, her responsibilities would grow too.

 

My mother was only 9 years old when her own mother, Rachel Allen Nolen died. She was the oldest of 7 living siblings, with Johnnie being the youngest and only 10 months old at the time of Rachel's death. She became motherless and at the same time became a “mother” to six younger siblings. She was only nine, but I have heard from some of those siblings that she tried her best to be a mother for them.
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Grrandpa Boyd was a good man and for a while, Grandpa did try to raise the kids but he had to leave the home to work. I think that Mom must have learned a lot of her mothering skills with that early on the job training. Granny came and stayed with them for a while, but that did not work out.

In the end, the family had to be split up. Mom and Johnnie ended up with Aunt Alta and Uncle Bug ; and Lola, Fanny, Billy, Ronnie and Olen ended up spending time with other relatives and in children's homes. Aunt Alta told me more than once, that she truly regretted not being able to take them all in.

 
So when she was eleven, she became a transplant. She moved from Kentucky along with her baby brother Johnnie to live with her Aunt Alta and Uncle Bug in Dayton, Ohio. She became a new older sister to her three cousins; Dale, Denny and Kookie. Somewhere along the way, when she was probably fifteen, she met the brother of her uncle’s wife. As she began to know this young man better, she became a girlfriend. When she was only sixteen, she became a wife. Mom married Dad when she was 16 years old, and since she was married, she had to quit school. My Dad can always be assured that he is special too, because my Mom loved school, but was willing to drop out to marry him.

 

After she and Dad married, as a team, they became a glue for the family. That glue brought Mom’s siblings together as often as possible. Mom’s siblings have told me that Mom has been like a mother to them and Dad has been like a father to them. Mom and Dad’s efforts allowed those familial ties that bound the Nolen siblings together to begin with to not be broken and to even somehow grow stronger!

When she was nineteen, she became a mother with my birth and then again with my brother’s birth two years later. I think that the role of mother must be the most challenging role of all for it necessitates so many other roles. A mother must be a doctor, a nurse, a psychiatrist, a mentor, an example, a cheerleader, a comforter, a kick in the britches when needed…… Yes, a mother must be a Jack of all trades and a master of all!

 

After having their two children, Mom decided to go to night school to get her diploma. This could not have been easy with a home and family to take care of, but she did it. Of course, we did live in Ohio at the time, so we had lots of family around to help out. In my mind, I liken growing up in Dayton to the way I imagine the Kennedys (minus the money and power, of course) must have grown up in their Kennedy Compound, surrounded by family, family that would always have your back.

 

Mom got her high school diploma shortly before her little girl got her "Bachelor of Rhymes degree" from kindergarten. In 1968, we left our "Kennedy compound" and moved to Tennessee. Mom worked at a pencil factory and another factory where she did sewing work.

Somewhere along the way, she began to want to go back to school to become a nurse. I don't know why, but Dad wasn't too happy with this. Mom was determined and believed strongly that she should do this, and do this she did. Again, it could not have been easy for her, but her determination and hard work saw her through it and she became an R.N. I believe that any patient who had my Mom as a nurse could not have had better care!

Over the years, I have learned many valuable lessons from my Mom, not in so many words, but by watching her and seeing her example. She has been the best mother, the best grandmother and now the best great-grandmother. She has shown determination, she has shown generosity, she has demonstrated the arts of patience and forgiveness..... I can say that any lack in these attributes that I demonstrate myself, is totally a reflection of the student and not the teacher. And in each of the roles she has filled, she has been a friend; not the kind of friend that tells you what you want to hear, but the kind that listens and then tells you the truth that you need to hear. The truth can sometimes hurt, but she always offers a comforting touch with that truth and a loving embrace to make that truth more bearable.

 

 

                                        

I tell Mom often that I could not have been given a better mother. She is humble and I do not know if she really believes that, but she should know that she raised an honest daughter. If I did not believe so, I would not say so! She has provided me an example to follow that I can only hope to achieve! As I have said before, any shortcomings that I exhibit in my own life is a reflection of the student and not the teacher.

Mere words will never be enough to paint the picture that is my mom. For folks who know her, well, you know what I mean. For folks who don't know her, I'm sorry, you are missing out!